Wedding Dress Trends for Spring 2018 Part 1 of 2

Shopping for the perfect wedding dress is both exciting and overwhelming. There are so many different styles, colors and trends to look into. This upcoming spring has many diverse trends to love.

Oversized bow.jpg

Oversized bows. Oversized bows are coming back in a big way. They give that “wow” factor that many brides want when they search for their perfect dress.

 

Untitled design.jpg

 

 

Flutter Sleeves. Boho brides rejoice! The flutter sleeves trend is very feminine and beautiful.Wedding Dress Trends for Spring 2018

Winter Wedding Trends

A clean color palette of wintry whites and soft ivories looks sophisticated and glamorous when contrasted with natural elements. Eucalyptus garlands, full foliage arrangements and lush blooms create a refined feel. 

Also big? 
Including a jewel-toned contrast color (think: sapphire or violet). The deep hue will make a statement and add serious definition to flowers and décor.

Winter wedding trends

Gimme Love

“I’ll love you if you’ll love me. You go first.” Ok. That might work. People have been doing it for years. Centuries even. Test the water. Make sure. Be safe. Does that sound like someone you know? You perhaps?

Wait! Here is another one – “Love hurts.” (Do I hear a song off in the distance?)  Love never hurts. Expectations hurt. Conditions hurt. Judgments hurt. Criticisms hurt.

Babies are a perfect example of love with no conditions. You look into those precious faces and you love them. You don’t stop loving them when they wake you up at 2 a.m. or when you change a poopy diaper. And the baby never says, “Thank you.”

As the baby grows into a child you naturally think it should be walking; it should be talking; it should be getting good grades; it should be having nice friends; it should be………etc, etc.

Expectations. Judgements. Criticisms. Conditions. Paybacks. Gimme love!

Now I’ll tell you the secret to loving without conditions. It’s a secret because most people don’t know it. They may have heard the formula but they don’t believe it for a second. They keep looking for love in all the wrong places. (Did I hear another song starting up?)

Before I tell you the secret, let’s go back to the baby for a moment. You love that baby even when it spits up on your shoulder, or wets thru the diaper onto your lap, or fusses, or gets sick. You love and accept that baby just as it is. Right?

Here’s the secret: love your self just like that. “But I do!” you say? No you don’t. Be honest now.

Do you beat yourself up for past mistakes? Ever get depressed? Have anxiety issues? Afraid of the dark, or spiders, or snakes? Do you complain when you look in a mirror? These thoughts are all about conditions.

You made a mistake. Learn from it and stop kicking yourself around the block. Depression is anger turned inward. Why are you mad at yourself?  Give your heart a hug and forgive you your mistakes. Anxiety is another fear. Fear is the opposite of Love.

Fear is the opposite of Love.

Now, here is the secret to the secret. All you have to do is ask yourself if what you are thinking is coming from a place of love.  Is the thought kind, gentle, happy, accepting, generous, forgiving, comforting, beautiful or willing? Then the thought is based on love.

OR is what you are thinking doubtful, confusing, critical, blaming, worrisome, hurtful, damaging, jealous or judgmental in any way? All of those types of thoughts are fear based.

Keep in mind that we are talking about thoughts.  The thoughts that are in your head. BUT, since your thoughts are in your head you – and only you – have the power and the ability to change those thoughts. You can choose again. You CAN choose again.

Gimme Love!

Look in the mirror every morning and say, “I love YOU.” Give love to yourself first and you’ll have more than enough to give to everyone else. I promise. Try it and see what happens. Let me know how you make out.

 

Reflections On MY Marriage

Tom and I were married on this day 55 years ago. My concept of a marriage was that I was to please my husband, take care of the children and do the housework. I thought doing all of that would entitle me to be cared for. You give – you get.

My expectations were never met. Even though I never voiced those expectations I patiently waited for them. Tom had never known about Mindreading 101, never thought about it, never inquired.

Where was my reward for being good? Who was giving out the rewards? Where were the Fair Play police? Is anybody out there?

So now, 55 years later, I know. The answer to all of those questions is the same. The answer is, always was and always will be – me. The one to answer the questions is my Self. Not the small, demanding, little self but the calm, quiet, inner, higher Self.

Ego yells and is easy to hear. Its usually in-your-face. Higher Self speaks softly, soothingly. In order to hear it you must stop, breathe deeply, sit quietly and listen. Its answer is always the same. Love.

Taking care of and loving yourself is not about me me me.  It’s not about I want, I want, I want. It is about accepting you as you are; about forgiving yourself when you think you have fallen short; about resting when you are tired; about sharing rather than doing without.

Take time to know yourself. Look at yourself in the mirror and say, “I love you. You are my best friend and I will take care of you.” Eventually you will believe it, feel it, and do it.

How does that help a marriage? How does that improve your life? The formula was given 2,000 years ago. “Love your neighbor as yourself.” Your neighbor means your spouse, children, parents, the president (of anything), the bank robber, the terrorist, and your ancestors. The often missed caveat is “as”. Love your neighbor as yourself.

You must love, care for, respect, accept and forgive yourself first. Then the rest is easy.

Fly The Plane

Right now, today, I am reaping rewards from lessons I learned 25 years ago when, against all odds, I became a licensed private pilot.

The odds? I was a single mom raising 3 kids on my own, working full time, responsible for all bills, a 5’ 1” woman (cockpits are built for 6’ men), no college education and legally blind in one eye. The chosen airport was one of the most difficult and therefore dangerous at which to land. This tiny woman was stepping into a tall man’s world.

I no longer fly planes.  But those same lessons have taught me how to fly my inner dragons.

Number One Lesson: P.I.C. – the Pilot is always the one In Command. Not the tower (authorities, bosses, teachers, parents, or friends) but the pilot who is flying the plane. You are the one who is ultimately fully responsible for your life. If you are old enough to read this, you are old enough to be in charge of you.

#2. Pre-flight check. A pilot would never jump into a plane and take off. Like we do in our cars. Does the tail rudder work? In what condition are the tires? Fuel? Oil topped off? Is the plane safe to fly and can you handle it if the engine stops? Do you know where you’re going and what route you will take to get there? In what weather will you be flying?

Pre-flight your day – your life. Do you have the proper fuel for your body, your mind, your soul? Can you easily steer your life and rest when required instead of being forced down (as in getting sick and out of commission)? How much weight or baggage are you carrying physically, mentally and emotionally? Shifting or unknown cargo can throw you off balance.

#3. Lift off. Did you know that taking off is practically as dangerous as landing? Look around you – up, down, and side to side. You are not the only one who wants to do something. Have patience when you have to wait for the runway to clear. Are you comfortable – relaxed yet alert and prepared to go forward on the right signal?

#4. Fly The Plane! This is your trip, your life. You have this plane to fly now. You have this life to live now. Pay attention. What is going on around you? Are you on course? No matter what happens with the plane YOU are the one responsible for this flight. Don’t blame the weather, the birds, or crappy fuel. Deal with what comes up the best you can.

#5. The best part of flying planes and living life = it’s an experience meant to be fun. You are the PIC, the Pilot In Command.

Fly Your Plane!

Traditional White

Should you wear a white wedding dress? Trends today lean toward white with an additional color added or ivory gowns. Many brides no longer wear a long veil but attach a small veil to the back of their head or no veil at all. What about tradition? Is tradition out the window?

Every tradition started some time, some where. The key here is “started”. Queen Victoria had quite an impact on the population and women wanted to follow her for many reasons. The Queen wore white so the brides did likewise.

Your wedding is your wedding. You can have it in a church (not the original setting) or on a beach or house or any place. 

You can wear a long white dress or shorts. Do you want to talk about veils? Who wears veils any day of the week??

Originally, people lived together because they wanted to or needed to. Then it became a business with a contract, often political. That still happens but not in the world of today’s average American/European bride.

Who are you pleasing when you go “traditional” and who are you offending? Everyone has the right and the privilege to make up their own mind and decide how they want to dress, where they want to marry, and the type of ceremony that proclaims it legal.

Tradition was also dictated by where you lived. In the States the groom did not see the bride until the service. (Another “tradition” tossed recently.) In Germany, the groom walked together with the bride to the church and down the aisle.

Brides traditionally carry a big bouquet of flowers. Do you know why? It was intended for the scent of the flowers to waft under your nose instead of body odor. Rose petals were tossed on the floor where the bride would walk for the same reason and to act as an aphrodisiac.

Before tiered wedding cakes there were individual little cakes or petit fours. Today the trend is back to little cakes, as in cupcakes.

Be brave. Start your own tradition.