Go Ahead.....Make Your Day

No, this is not a takeoff on Clint Eastwood. But wait a minute. If you think about Clint Eastwood, why is he so special? Even if you are not a huge fan of his, you have to admit that dude has lasted a long time in the movie business and is still going strong.

How does the C.E. concept relate to YOUR wedding and, more specifically, YOUR wedding ceremony? Clint Eastwood puts his own spin, his own brand of acting, of thinking, on everything he does on the screen. He considers all the details leaving nothing to chance verified by his directing expertise.

Put it this way. Mega time, effort and expense goes into the 4 hour time slot of Wedding Day but how much thought is put forth in creating the ceremony that produces the magic words to pronounce you wife and husband?

Did you notice how weird wife and husband sounded as opposed to husband and wife? My point exactly. It’s the details. I used the same words but had the audacity to switch their order. The details make the difference between blah and spectacular.

My goal is to see to it that you have a magnificently memorable perfect ceremony. One that is perfect for you. To achieve that masterpiece I ask questions.

There have been couples sitting on my comfy couch in my home office who were shocked at their mate’s response when I asked about including a particular component in the service. At the same time, one would answer “no” and the other would say, “Absolutely YES” producing stupefying looks all around.

For example, recently there have been a few brides who wanted the question “Who gives this woman to this man in marriage?” asked at the beginning of the ceremony. Usually the father desires that honor. Sometimes both parents answer. One woman had her 2 sons respond, “We do.” However, for the previous 10 years only a handful of brides requested the inclusion. Traditions come back around. Go figure!

That’s why I love my job. Its such fun! I revel in the pleasure of meeting new people with unique points of view. My focus is always, “What do YOU want in your wedding ceremony?” Sure, I have lots of ideas but that is all they are – my thoughts. Those ideas and thoughts do not get incorporated into the service unless the bride and groom totally agree that to do so would reflect their ideals and be a part of their vision.

You could be one of many that have no idea what so ever of what a ceremony is all about, why it is necessary in the first place, and who cares anyway.

That would be like going to a florist and saying, “Send over some flowers.” Well. How many flowers, what kind, what budget, when, where…..etc. Or, “Send me a dress to wear at my wedding.” What size, length, color, style, price…..etc.

The florist, the dressmaker and I ask questions to determine what is suitable, which is the best plan of action, and most importantly, how can I best serve this couple.

One more piece of advice – shop around. You shop for flowers, invitations, dresses, music and every item under heaven. Keep shopping. Interview Officiants and Ministers. Find the right one for you. And BTW, the consultation should be free. If it isn’t say, “Thank you very much” and hang up or leave if you’re already there.

Clint Eastwood and I go hand in hand in saying, “Make my day.” You make my day by allowing me to make your day, when I create for you your Perfect Ceremony.

Go ahead. Make Your Day.

I Pronounce You ......

When my husband, Tom and I married, I had no idea of how to make room for someone else’s way of being. When the priest said the magic words “I now pronounce you husband and wife” that was supposed to automatically lead you to “happily ever after”. My head was definitely in the clouds.

When I lived with my parents, life simply went on. Roles were assumed. If mother and father had a discussion we never knew about it. We were simply told what to do and were expected to follow the plan.

At the tender age of 19 I planned my escape route. I was going to run away to California. I would pack my bags for vacation the summer of my twentieth year and never come back. That almost worked.

Before that year was over I was out of the house – with my new husband. Saved face all around. But I went from the frying pan into the fire. 13 years later I took my 3 children and left that house forever too.

Do you know the 4 deadliest words in a relationship?  “We have to talk.” Those words are like a shotgun blast to the butt and get the same results.  First you are in shock then you are in pain. There must be another way.

Actually, there is. Why let issues pile up until you want to explode? A gentle rocking of the boat is easier to handle than a tidal wave.

When something is bothering you, take a time out.  Look at yourself first. What are you feeling? What are you feeling?  (not thinking) Where is that feeling located in your body? Sit with that for a few minutes. See what comes up.

Stay with the feeling and forget the story.  When did you feel that same feeling before?  And before that?  Keep tracing the feeling back in time to its birth. When did it first happen? Once you have the courage to look that deadly dragon in the face it shrinks. Big time.  Each time the dragon reappears it is much smaller until it finally disappears altogether.

When you have taken your time out and have done your inner work you may be ready to tell your mate the part that you played in the incident.  Try it.

If you need help with this process, contact me.  As a Spiritual Counselor and a Soul Coach I can help.

Wedding Trend: Ixnay the Receiving Line

Many couples are ditching the receiving line.  Instead, they are circulating throughout the reception so they can give undivided attention to all the guests.

This idea also helps with time management.  More and more venues are booking multiple weddings, so time is of the essence and to delay the departure could cost you!  

So, while mingling with cocktails, or dancing the night away, make this the perfect time to say thank you to each guest!

It's Wedding Expo Season

The next few weeks are sprinkled with wedding expos here in the Triangle and beyond.  Below are all of the events that I know of in the area.


LGBT Wedding Expo - Raleigh, NC  February 26th
Click Here for Information

The Big Fake Wedding - Charlotte, NC  April 20th
Click Here for Information

All of these events have been listed here for your convenience.  I have verified only that the information is available (from southern bride and groom website).  The links were working at time of publication.  Please verify yourself ahead of time if you will need to pre-register or if there is an entrance fee into these events.  As always, thank you and I look forward to serving you in the future.

Wedding Trend: Friends Marrying Friends

The New York Times published a trend article about how more couples are asking friends and family to officiate their wedding. 


I really love the idea of having someone close to you officiate a wedding especially if you aren’t keen on having a religious official marry you. Friends and family tend to know you the best, make you feel comfortable and can add personalized stories to your ceremony.

HOWEVER -- Please be aware that this type of wedding may not be LEGAL.  You MUST be joined in matrimony by a licensed Officiant (such as myself).  Otherwise, it is nothing but a big show leaving you with nothing to show for it!

10 Questions to consider before hiring a Wedding Officiant

Where do you start when you are planning on getting married? One thing is for sure – you will need an Officiant. Read on...

Will you hold a religious, spiritual, or secular ceremony?

If you are of a singular religious faith you may want to have the minister of your church officiate.  If that is not the case and you are an interfaith couple, or spiritual, or prefer a secular ceremony, Rev. Phran will tailor the ceremony to your specifications.

Do you prefer a traditional order of service or one that is totally unique?

You may wish to follow a traditional order of service and also include non-traditional additions such as: Honoring of Parents, Honoring of Travelers, Memorial, Special Readings, Candle lighting, etc.  Your service can be not-so-traditional and include Hand Holding, Hand Fasting, Sand Blending, Time Capsule, etc.  Or you may want to collaborate with Rev. Phran and create part of the service yourself.  There are many options and additions available.

Is experience an important factor?

Rev. Phran has been happily marrying couples since 2000 and is considered an expert in the field. Her patience, good humor, and confidence will put you and your guests at ease.

Can you preview the completed ceremony? Are changes allowed?

You may want to know the exact wording of what will be said during this life changing event. Rev. Phran will email you the completed ceremony and change, delete, or add componentsif you choose that option during the consultation.

What are your expectations of the Officiant?

Depending on the flavor or theme of the wedding, you may request that the minister dress in an official robe, in professional attire or casual clothing. Rev. Phran is open to discussing the style of clothing you’d like her to wear. Rev. Phran will be there to assist with last minute details or changes because she will arrive at the chosen venue 30 to 60 minutes prior to the ceremony.

Will the wedding venue be acceptable?

Rev. Phran has performed ceremonies at hundreds of different locations and venues. Some of them are: churches, chapels, houses, yards, restaurants, light houses, at a lake, in a lake, forest, campground, park and trolley. Her Home Chapel is available for up to 10 guests. She is willing to travel to an outer space station as well!

Will you be required to attend premarital counseling?

With Rev. Phran, premarital counseling is available but not mandatory.

Have you budgeted for a wedding officiant?

Without the ceremony, there is no marriage! There can be significant work involved in creating your dream ceremony and Rev. Phran provides top quality services at a reasonable fee. Working within your budget, Rev. Phran will guide you in designing a ceremony that fits your personality and preferences – a ceremony that will touch hearts and be remembered for a long time!

Can your wedding ceremony be on any day and at any time?

The day and time are totally up to you. Rev. Phran is licensed to marry you in any village, city, state or country and is willing to travel to accommodate your requests. A discount is available for a week day wedding, for elopements, for small intimate ceremonies with 10 guests or less, and for weddings performed in the Home Chapel. Discuss your situation with Rev. Phran.

Can your wedding ceremony be co-officiated?

Yes. Rev. Phran will work with any officiant as well as special people who wish to serve but are not licensed to perform a legal wedding.